watching people on tiktok consume borax is uh. something.

having to say “don’t eat borax” was not on my 2023 bingo

@the-puffinry

Can’t believe in the year 2023 we have to say: do not consume borax. It will not provide a “parasite cleanse”, it does not combat the “evil fluoride” in your water, and it is not a super mineral. It will damage your organs. Also, it’s not rated for human consumption so frankly, who knows what it’s cross-contaminated with (my personal bet would be arsenic).

birbs 1 and 2 done <3

Ig (x)

This I agree with. I’ve seen other posts go around about it, so it wasn’t just that one person.

But to make it clear, I’ll take the time to explain to people why participating in Crab Day (and financially supporting Tumblr in general) is important:

It’s unfortunate, but in this day and age, large websites like this one can’t function without an exorbitant amount of income. For other social medias, the bulk of this income comes from Business-to-Business (B2B) transactions, often in the form of selling user data.

The thing y'all need to understand is that wealth is VASTLY different in the B2B economy than it is with B2C (business-to-consumer) economy. In fact, this is a huge reason why we’re in an economic crisis…because the US is a nation with two economies, and the power of the dollar is astronomically different between the two of them.

Tech’s standard of wealth is based in the B2B economy. Because Tumblr is in the Tech sector, it needs to play according to Tech wealth. Unfortunately, the way you earn Tech wealth is by selling Tech-related B2B products, and for social media websites, that product is user data.

It’s a competitive market that sets a new standard of rotten with every transaction. In order to acquire data that’s more valuable than your competitor’s data, you have to be less ethical about how you source it…and also be willing to cross moral boundaries in regards to who you sell it to.

If Tumblr finds no other way of sourcing income, they have no choice but to participate in this data market or shut down.

However, Tumblr is the home of the secret third thing. In this case, this secret third thing is to work with the community rather than exploit it.

(That’s what it looks like to me, anyway. I nether trust nor doubt Tumblr’s words; that’s not what’s winning me over. Instead, I’m curious to know where they plan to go with this, because this is unusual as far as business practices go and I think it would be cool if they’re trying to set a more holistic precedent for the social media of the future. I won’t be able to see that conclusion if they go bankrupt though.)

So yes, participate in Crab Day. Just because one unpleasant person also condones it doesn’t mean it’s a bad idea.

This ☝️. It’s frankly surprising they are even exploring different options than B2B - it’s interesting and it should be encouraged.

I’ve seen tons of people going ‘Tumblr belongs to an Ebil Cowpowation it doesn’t care about you!11!’ Which. OK. ‘They can afford to operate at a loss!’

Why the fuck would they want to keep doing it indefinitely?? You’ve just said they don’t care!

rb to give the previous person a fucking break because life aint life-ing the way its supposed to life and it fucking sucks.

a study i did because i realized idk how to draw environments at all LMAO

STOP SCROLLING THIS IS A PAINTING

✶ the ocean at night ✶

picnic date :)

XII. The Hanged Man

Queen of Wands

Ace of Pentacles

tumblr staff says that if we don't buy $17,000 in crabs by 10 p.m. the whole website is going to be shut down by hotel management and all the guests are going to have to go home

much to-do about nothing

p.s. I'm gonna be live on twitch soon(ish)

my disabled ass, after (1)good day: "obviously I am cured. in fact it may have all been in my head. who can say? now to rejoin society!"

me, the next day: "it has come to my attention that i may be chronically ill."

Gamer cats

Okay so I did some research, very basic research, on the user base of tumblr and how many of us there are.

There are at least 300 million unique visitors worldwide on this site. Over 500 million blogs.

Listen. Tumblr is $30 million in debt. This is Super easy for us to solve.

If each user gifts one blog crabs, which costs slightly over $3, that would be roughly $600 million at least. Far more than enough to get Tumblr out of the red zone.

If we want tumblr to stay afloat and not change something as integral about their operating system, we need to show them they can be profitable without reducing themselves to common social media sites. What we have here is special. It is different. We are the social media site people run to when theirs collapses and for good reason.

If we want this to work, we have to make it work. We can even make it into a game. Just how long can we outlast the other social media sites?

Yes that’s exactly what I’m saying.

It needs to be a holiday. Pick a date a few weeks from now, and just make it Crab Day. Maybe a Saturday as a lot of people are paid on Fridays. Just in case this post becomes more popular than any I've had before, lets set the date as the last Saturday in July (which for us in 2023 will be July 29th.)

On July 29th, gift as many crabs as you can without breaking the bank. Post crab memes if you cannot afford a crab.

Tumblr can pull this off. Tumblr likes doing things like this.

Guys there's an account for this now @crab-day-counter

i have this disease called i will open your message and get distracted and forget to reply and then the notification will be gone so i will not have replied for ages and you will think i am ignoring you but. i am not. it’s incurable

Okay so here’s my thoughts on the staffcon thing.

I still think collapsing reblogs so posts look more like other social media isn’t gonna work as a feature but they will probably roll them back a little and at least add a toggle off for it if they try it and enough people submit feedback. Edit: this is actually less of an issue, most of the discussion is based on a misrepresentation of what’s happening. They’re just making it easier to scroll past long posts.

I think submitting feedback is a takeaway. There was a pretty clear effort to just remind the user base that there are real humans on the other side of a paycheck having to read and respond to the inputs of every feedback method on the site, which is fair. It’s easy to be an asshole online in any semi anonymous platform and that is something that tumblr culture takes a certain bloodthirsty pleasure in.

And yes, of course, user complaints about issues such as accessibility and the many ongoing glitches and bots and the search function, etc. are valid and do need to be addressed. But at the very least it would be cool if we as users maybe try to cultivate a slightly less pitchforky social norm when submitting feedback about changes to the site. The ceo is not reading every @ to his blog. One of his employees is. The people reading all of the feedback are just people doing their jobs. All jobs suck under capitalism, maybe we could try not to make their jobs actively worse.

Would you be rude to an overworked server in a restaurant? No? Cool also try to not be a dick to the person getting paid to answer customer or user complaints.

Related to that, funding. Many current and former members of staff have been pretty frank about funding in the past. The company is trying to at the very least breakeven, which not a single company who has owned tumblr has managed because the hosting fees for this site are insane due to all of the stuff on it.

If they don’t get it to breakeven they’ll hopefully best case just open source the website which is a method they’ve done in the past. And it would probably work, and then the website would to my understanding be being maintained by users. Now this is where my understanding gets fuzzy so anyone with more knowledge of how this would shake out feel free to chime in. But my understanding is that the source code for the site would be opened up and maintained by the community likely through mostly volunteer work. I would guess largely uncompensated.

So personally I think maybe the vitriolic response to every change they make going forward to try and monetize the site and pay even some of the cost of operation is perhaps a bit overblown, because they’re still trying to find a way to keep paying those people to work on tumblr, and I think people continuing to be paid for the work they do is better than volunteers doing unpaid labor.

I do also think there’s a secret third option for automattic and every other company finding themselves with a worse outlook now the Silicon Valley bubble has started to really burst, and that is for all existing staff members to unionize and then turn the whole thing into a worker coop. Much more stable organizational structures. Worker coops are also one of my favorite short term solutions to many other systemic problems we are currently experiencing.

I do hope this site continues to exist for many years, especially as it is one of the only places on the internet where the culture makes it safer to talk about some of the more permanent and long term solutions to various systemic issues that function within societies. Also funny text posts.

i love ignoring things….. people…. problems …. responsibilities……feelings…..

They really maximized the amount of post per post im able to see its impressive

iOS development moments

(they have also made a post apologizing for the confusion)

Weibo article that dives into the origin of the trend and provides a perspective from the other side:

一块吐司，几片芝士，加上一些生菜或水果，一股“清心寡欲”风扑面而来。而这简单无味的搭配，正是一些外国人的正常午餐。

"A slice of bread, a piece of cheese, piece of raw vegetable or fruit: you're blasted by a cleansing gust of ascetic wind. This simple and flavorless pairing is actually the everyday lunch of some foreigners."

Image text: "White people food"

中国网友还给这样的饮食方式起了一个名，叫做”白人饭“（white people food）。所谓的白人饭特点就是，“冷的“、”素的”、”分量少的“，基本上就是”花最少的功夫准备，仅仅能维系基本器官正常运作“的食物（require the least amount of effort to substain vital signs）。

"Chinese netizens have given this cuisine a name, '白人饭' (white people food).
"The characteristics of so-called white people food are 'cold,' 'vegetarian,' 'small portions,' and truly 'requiring the least amount of effort to sustain vital signs' food."

也就是说，白人饭的食材都是那种能生吃就绝不开锅，调味料单一，不是盐和黑胡椒，就是能够直接添加的蛋黄酱或番茄酱。一开始，白人饭这个梗是由住在国外的中国网友传起来的。起因是因为他们在社交媒体上晒出了自己的白人同事带的午餐——几根生胡萝卜和一些生菠菜。

"In other words, white people's food is the kind that doesn't involve cooking, with just one kind of seasoning, if not salt and pepper, then just the direct addition of mayonnaise or ketchup.
"Originally, the concept of white people food started with Chinese netizens living overseas. It was because they used social media to expose their white coworkers' lunches — a few carrots and some raw spinach."

OP's tweet reads: "This is my coworker's lunch. A few carrots and some spinach. They already have the ability to produce their own energy without eating food."

Comment 1: "I think since they like suntanning so much, they must be using photosynthesis"

Comment 2: "They depend on therapists to keep them alive"

不知真相围观的群众可能还会误以为这是刚刚洗好准备切和下锅的食材.... 而习惯了“午饭也要吃热饭热菜”的中国网友们在看到自己的白人同事午饭居然吃这个，都感到不可思议。

"Unknowing spectators may mistakenly think that these are freshly washed vegetables about to be chopped and cooked. While Chinese netizens, accustomed to 'lunch means a hot meal', view their white coworkers' lunches as unimaginable."

OP's tweet reads: "My Danish coworker brought something new again. No spinach today, just two carrots and a pepper. They're evolving."

Comment: "Why do they eat like they're putting gas in their cars. Pour it in to be able to go"

OP's tweet reads: "my coworkers lunch is a whole cauliflower! First time I've seen a whole cauliflower eaten with a knife and fork after being cooked. He was even surprised that I'd never seen that before. These people haven't lived"

OP's tweet reads: "The simplicity of Australian white people food. Everyone knows that Australian white people food is super simple, but when I saw my coworker's lunch I was still shocked. Mushrooms from the supermarket, straight from the box, added directly to a wrap. I asked him whether mushrooms can be eaten raw. He said he'd been eating them raw for years and was doing fine."

Comment: "Pretty normal. They even eat green beans raw. 20 years ago, the people at my bro's place even ate yuanxiao [glutinous rice dough dumplings] uncooked. Anyways, I feel like foreigners don't like eating food unless they're about to starve. If they could live on alcohol, they definitely wouldn't eat at all"

Image text: "Lunch: a head of raw lettuce wrapped around some ham with mustard drizzled on top"

OP's tweet reads: "I guess I've seen the pinnacle of white people food today. The locals always come up with new moves to surprise me"

而反过来，海外的中国网友只是把自己一份普通的午饭带到公司加热，都会引起外国同事的围观和震惊。

"On the other hand, Chinese people living overseas only have to heat up in a normal lunch at the office to invoke the shock and awe of their foreign coworkers."

OP's tweet reads: "Re: about my lunch shocking my white coworkers. Everyone knows that white people don't have taste buds, they only eat to stay alive.
"Coworker A: porridges. Oats + honey + milk + salt + microwave for 3 min.
"Coworker B: some kind of canned rice + canned tuna, microwave for 2 min.
"Coworker C: pita bread with dip; with a couple of cherry tomatoes/cucumber.
"Coworker D: mini pizza: base + sauce + cheese, baked
"I've been here for most of one year, these guys eat the same thing every day. But today was different, today everyone brought food, a boxed proper meal: pasta. But I'm the undefeated mystical Oriental lady, made a whole table [of food] appear in the blink of an eye."

在国内，午饭要吃饱这个概念早已深入人心，而且习惯每顿都要吃米饭面条等主食。但在欧美国家，他们的午饭一般都会吃得比较简单清淡，而且他们也没有午觉的习惯，所以吃得清淡也有助于集中精力，不容易犯困，而且也比较省时间。所以这样饮食差异也给网友们带来了文化冲击。
更有趣的是，最近“白人饭”这个词已经从一个梗变成了大家纷纷效仿的饮食方式，网友还开始各种钻研白人饭，表示仿佛打开了新世界的大门。

"In China, the concept of a filling lunch is deeply ingrained in people's minds, as well as the habit of having a staple of rice or noodles etc. with every meal. But in Europe and the US, lunches are usually simple and light, and they don't have the custom of taking a siesta, so eating lightly helps maintain focus, prevent drowsiness, and save time. And so, these dietary differences have led to culture shock.
"What's more interesting is, recently the phrase 'white people food' has spread to become a style of cuisine that everyone is imitating. Netizens have begun a deep dive into all different kinds of white people food. It's like a door has been opened into a new world."

OP's tweet reads: "After entering a state of 'eating to stay alive', I found out white people food is actually good. Ate the same thing every day and didn't puke. I just play on my phone a bit and the food is ready. It's sustenance, that's all."

Commenter: "After you give up on the pursuit of flavor, the world will open up to you. Cold vegetables + chicken breast are so good."

随着这个梗的火热，“白人饭”在国内出圈的事情，居然还传到外网去了。而国外网友的反应也是够逗的。​一位网友在推特上发推表示，

Following this trend going viral, "white people food" got spread to the foreign web. Foreign netizens' reactions were too funny. One user tweets:

而外国网友不但没有感到被冒犯，反而是早已接受了“白人饭”这个设定，甚至有时候连自己都忍不住吐槽。

"Not only were foreigners not offended, they've long since accepted the designation of "white people food", even going so far as to mock it themselves.

而听说中国网友也兴起了吃白人饭之后，白人网友也不吝赐教，开始分享地道的白人饭做法。

"After hearing about Chinese interest in white people food, white people didn't hesitate to offer instruction and started sharing recipes for authentic white people food."

lahore pigeons are some of the most visually appealing birds out there. like in terms of visual design. very minimalist, good contrast.

Too bad Lahore pigeons are a domestic breed and don’t appear in the wild at all.
Some equally balanced wild colorations include

Pygmy Falcon

Great Hornbill

Wallcreeper

and

Black-throated Loon

this is a good addition to this post. thank you for this birds educations

I would like to submit the following additions to the world of exceptional bird color design:

Cedar Waxwing

Red Crowned Crane

Brahminy Kite

Green Tree Swallow (I mean seriously - those are metallic teal feathers against stark white. Damn.) 

Bali Mynah

And, last but certainly not least, the cutest fucking puffball on this planet earth:

The Korean Crow-Tit

I’d also like to contribute some pretty awesome birds

Hooded Pitta (or as like to call them little olives)

Coua

Mot-Mot

The Blue Crown Pigeon (the biggest pigeon)

good post

@ilovegirlsalways

@candiceirae

I’m fond of the Golden Breasted Starling,

the Golden Pheasant,

and the Oriental Dwarf Kingfisher.

@izzyovercoffee

May I present the most fabulous turkey in the world, the Ocellated Turkey?

Might I add

The Violet-backed starling

the Himalayan Monal (in love with the moomin-looking one)

I know they are the most pleb and common of the birds, but my god, magpies sometimes are just magnificent

Bye Noire

Pointed Cube - 230711

haggard from her battle (psychologically terrorizing my mom’s golden retriever for hours) the warrior (inbred 9 pound cat) cautiously trods towards the celebratory banquet (Rae Dunn bowl full of kibble)

This cat looks like the fucked up garfield plushie

thank you. she is.

where I grew up in California not only is “dude” generally non-gender-specific, half of the time it doesn’t even refer to a person at all.

I said it to a faucet today. 

A customer once came to me to order a sandwich and said “I want this dude”

Dude is more than a word, it’s an emotion. 

dude is a way of life

I almost never posted when I used reddit. I left comments maybe once every few weeks. But here on Tumblr I feel like I need to be posting something. I know I don't really, but I've got 5 followers for some reason. I have a responsibility now. I wasn't ready to have kids, but here they are, all 5 of them, and I need to keep them fed. Here, my children, have a meager text post.

I am rewarded for my efforts with a little pop up that says some people reblogged my post. Once again, I cannot imagine why they would do that, but here we are. Back in the reddit lands, there were no tantalizing little notifications for upvotes. There was a little ticker for people to click, but that's passive. I got over a thousand upvotes once and I said "neat." But here on Tumblr, these interactions are active. If I get reblogged, it's not just a passing bit of reassurance. It's someone actually taking the garbage I just spewed out and sticking it up on the fridge for everyone to see.

I'm up on the fridges of like 10 strangers. And I want more.

大壮/Da Zhuang ("Big [and] Strong") the cat

English added by me :)

stopping at an understaffed, overcrowded fast food restaurant while on a road trip and crouching over your phone with your chicken sandwich at a corner table like a weary adventurer eating a bowl of unidentifiable stew at a nameless inn, the only one for miles of moor and wood, taking in the chatter around you but speaking to none before pulling your cloak back up over your head and taking t' the road once more

Kicking the door in at a Popeye’s connected to a gas station to ask the most grizzled and battle-scarred customers to join me on a suicidal quest

Leaning over the counter of the TacoTime in Rexburg Idaho, asking if the 16 year old Mormon girl there has heard any rumors.

she sauce on my scrod till i'm a New Man

EXTREMELY LOUD INCORRECT BUZZER

[ID: a printed picture of Paul Newman pouring a sauce from a saucepan into a casserole pan. The caption reads: "Delicate moment: Newman saucing his scrod. End ID]

you guys this car just ran over my grandpa

addressing a mutual by name for the first time is so scary like what if they think im creepy for it what if the name in their bio isn’t even their name and it’s just some random name they put there and everyone knows that but me what if they hate me personally what if i check 5 times but still spell it wrong

⊕ ⊕
tumblr post with screw holes at the corners so if you want to remove them and the front panel you can see all the fucked up bio-mechanical parts/circuits/wires inside.
⊕ ⊕

Alanis Morissette, Sorry to Myself/Haruki Murakami,1084

*at a bar*

bartender: this is from the gentleman over there

girl: this is a plant

me [shouting from across the bar]: just wanted to say aloe

Hi. This is me. I haven’t watched a single episode. I don’t know any of the characters. I don’t get the memes.

ALT

🎧 NPF audio player ⋆

On Tumblr's process of changing everything to NPF, staff has added metadata (details) to NPF audio inserts to reflect what was originally entered when it was posted. Unfortunately, they're unstyled for now, so I wrote a plugin that mimics the appearance of Tumblr's legacy audio player.

☆ Features:

• functional play/pause buttons with customizable sizes and colors
• [optional] preceding labels, e.g. "Track:" / "Artist:" / "Album"
• [optional] placeholder text for empty fields, e.g. "Untitled Track"
• shows album cover image if its comes with one, with customizable dimensions
• customizable player padding and background color

☆ How to install:

https://gitlab.com/tmblr-npf-audio/s#preview

pondering my ricky rain frog